Method Into The Heart of Madness

fiction by Nickolaus A. Pacione

“I am the bullet in the gun -- I will control you.
I am the fear which you run -- I will control you.
I am everything you will need to know -- I will control you .. Mr. Self Destruct
--- Nine Inch Nails.

Perhaps one shall see an image that should not be -- an illusion of what one sees within their mind. That the mind seems to play tricks on them as the horror one cannot fathom has become a reality. The darkness within the ally I walk in alone -- I could feel the cold kiss of the Angel of Death as I could see the writings along the wall. The graffiti tells the tale of horror which lurks within the streets -- the masses of children laying on their lawn, the only person who seems to be their friend is the Angel of Death because all they feel are the bullets impaling them at random, one at a time. The horror one could see in the street; the deafening shots of gunfire as one could see monsters driving up all dressed in red, purple, and black. For I can see their tattoos -- the blood red tear drop on their eyes symbolizing every person they murdered in cold blood. The mocking sounds of laughter as one hear them firing four or more rounds within them the bleeding of the horror which follows them -- a throbbing of what one sees within the streets. One will ask, “What type of monster would kill their own -- or who is the method to their madness?”

One could see the contract they signed -- for they are without a soul. The purchase of guns with a price is very expensive -- how much is one willing to pay for a weapon? I have seen the heart of their madness -- how one has drawn the blueprints of reality in the darkness. The guns one loves eats them up from inside -- tearing their soul apart one piece at a time.

The horror which lurks within the heart of madness -- the blood one shall taste is their own. The cold blood one feels flowing in their veins as he rush of the clentching of his finger -- the grip of the trigger tightens firing off four more rounds at another innocent target. The vampire slowly pulls the trigger; laughing at the act he did -- the rush he feels in his mind as he loves the feel of the gun. The horror at the other end of the barrel one is in a cold sweat -- the fear one has of death has a suicidal hold -- for the blood in the shadows one feels runs cold within the night. The horror of gunfire drown out the screams on the other end of the barrel -- the morbid fear which eats away at their mind -- the laughter within the shadows as one could see the demons clad in black, purple,and red. The tatoos of the tears upon the eyes of the demons in the flesh -- All I could hear is demented sounds of laughter coming from Cermak Road as I watch another innocent child blown away with one deafening sound of gunfire filled the sound with the Devil’s laughter.

This horror I witness -- for that I know as the method into the heart of madness. The guns that I keep hearing in the streets -- the unknown fear as I feel the innocents scream are still uncertain, the darkness that surrounds the area as I could the tormented prayers under the street light as I watch one standing alone on the street corner. This person was clad in all sorts of jewelley and a sweat suit passing out coccaine laced with rat poison -- I watch people crowd around him purchasing this substance. The torment one cannot understand their method to their madness -- the reality one has to watch the body count as they inject the needle slowly into their veins -- The fear one could see isn’t a fantasy, but a reality. This isn’t your supernatural horror myths but this is a reality of horror -- within one’s mind. The darkness within the ally is the only evil that keeps one company at night -- the harrowing visions in the method of the heart of madness, the screams within the race of hypocrisy. The horror of one’s disbelief -- deafening blasts of gunfire fill the air as one continues to lust for gunpower -- the rush one has for the love to murder. That they are only a fool -- for what they don’t realize that they are really blind. They could only see into the heart of their madness -- for this madness is left unspoken within their mind. For this they are left blind within the torment of their thought patterns.

I am watching the reality that torments one’s mind but what I see -- that this I am numb to what I see. This horror one calls this is the streets -- the masses crying at their feet. The jungle one knows of as the concrete jungle -- within this jungle, there is a method within the heart of madness. The laughter remains heard as the guns -- continue to fire out the screams of death -- for the demons with the tear drop tatoos cry mock tears, for each person they murder on their turf. The horror in the concrete jungle -- driven into the heart of madness. The reality of a suburban hell is the heaven for gang member’s heaven -- for the killing is their playground and the toys they play with are guns -- for every person walking down the street are tortured by a reality -- the reality of who is the prey.

The children of the projects learn at a young age -- of the horror one knows as the heart of madness. This madness throbbs within ones’s mind as the insanity takes a hold as one could feel the cold breath from the Angel of Death. As one walks down this dark, gloomy road. Knowing this one’s fear is their only friend -- the only key to survial in the street.

1997 Writings from the grave.
May be reproduced by
kind written permission of the author
1994 TVT/leaving hope music. Taken from The Downward Spiral

This story can also be read in Spanish Se hablo espanol. as of 1/9/98, this is for you visitors that speak spanish.


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